(hat tip to Wikipedia for this amazing likeness of George)
ED: Good to see you again George!
GEORGE: You mean as opposed to sitting on me, which is what you usually do?
ED: Haha, you're such a kidder! Seriously, what do you think about the news about Wall Street expecting Hillary Clinton to win the next presidential election?
GEORGE: Yeah, me and my brother Bill are big Hillary fans. We dollars aren't big fans of change.
ED: Most people aren't. We like to keep things status quo.
GEORGE: No, you half-cent, I mean change! Quarters, dimes, nickels. Whenever you see change, some dollar got broken for it.
But yeah, the status quo is nice too. When Obama was running for president, promising all that "hope and change", he scared the pyramid off my butt! Remember the economic collapse before Obama got elected? That was me and my brothers hightailing it! Fortunately, he turned out to be same old, same old.
ED: So tell me about the Obama administration?
GEORGE: After he got Obamacare passed, me and my fellow dollars all got to see more doctors. More than a few of us ended up on legal drugs. It was all cool though. For dollars, it's just another way to spend. Like my grandpappy used to say, "If I ain't buying, I'm dying!" Hehe, a little dollar humor there.
ED: So what did you think of the period after Obamacare was passed?
GEORGE: Nirvana? We had the Federal Reserve making more and more dollars, and then we got the Republicans taking over the Congress. With the government out of the way, albeit unintentionally, it was like a tailgate party before the Super Bowl, with trillions of me and my brothers eating brats and drinking beer. Best time I've had since the Clinton administration!
ED: Is that another reason you support Hillary?
GEORGE: You think I like her cause her husband's name is Bill? *chuckles*
Seriously, Hillary has always had a way with us dollars, ever since she did that commodity trade that turned a thousand of us into a $100,000. With Hillary, I fully expect you will see a lot more bills travelling through Washington, and I ain't talking congressional acts either! But she will also share a lot of her dollars with her friends on Wall Street, who have always treated me and my brothers like gods.
ED: So you do actually like Wall Street?
GEORGE: Of course! I fly into New York, catch a Broadway play, get dropped off at a restaurant for an overpriced meal. Eventually end up hungover in some broker's portfolio. Before I know it, I'm sharing an asset-backed bond with a bunch of my buddies on my way to Europe! Good times.
ED: What do you think of the Republican candidates?
GEORGE: Trump has always been good to me and my brothers. I love his idea of bringing $5 billion of my family back from Mexico to build a wall. My family has a saying about this: "Cha-ching!"
I'm not fond of Ted Cruz. He talked about balancing the budget. I know, I know, he's a Republican and they all talk about balancing the budget, but they never do it. One of these days, one of those guys is going to put his money where his mouth is. And Cruz looks like the kind of guy who'd eat a dollar. Well, at least the expression on his face is like he has a dollar in his mouth.
ED: What about the Libertarian candidates?
GEORGE: Here's my two cents...Get it? Two cents? Hah! Anyway, I would love to see a Libertarian president. That economy would have me flying all over the place. Heck, the entire country would look like New York to me. But that's just my opinion.
ED: Thanks for sharing your opinion, George.
GEORGE: Thanks for letting me out of your wallet. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a hot piece o' plastic...
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