Voting from the Grave

I got a kick out of this story from CBS in Los Angeles:

A comparison of records by David Goldstein, investigative reporter for CBS2/KCAL9, has revealed hundreds of so-called dead voters in Southern California, a vast majority of them in Los Angeles County.

...CBS2 compared millions of voting records from the California Secretary of State’s office with death records from the Social Security Administration and found hundreds of so-called dead voters. 

Specifically, 265 in Southern California and a vast majority of them, 215, in Los Angeles County alone. 

The numbers come from state records that show votes were cast in that person’s name after they died. In some cases, Goldstein discovered that they voted year after year.

But we shouldn't require voter ID's, right? That would be discrimination against dead people! Or should I call them "heartbeat-challenged" people?

When they said,"get out the vote", did they mean get it out of the grave?

If a dead person shows up at a polling place, what do we do? Offer them brains?

Maybe we need more polling places at cemeteries?

Should we require mortuaries to ask, "Now that your loved one is dead, will he/she be maintaining their voter registration?" If the answer is "yes", then the mortician should be required to notify the local board of elections. Also, the corpse should be buried with their voter ID. We wouldn't want the wrong corpse to be voting, right?

Of course, this brings up a whole slew of questions about whether dead people should be a protected class under the Americans with Disabilities Act. But is a non-functioning heart really a disability? I will leave that to the lawyers to figure out.

I guess this opens up a ground of worms...